The Hay

污点始终是污点...

The Last Time

The Last Time.
Last time for?
The last time for me to stay broke for the month.


HAHAHAHAHA.


Chinese New Year is around the corner and yet I'm so broke for everything.
How to survive lah during CNY?!
Dang!


But Thankfully, I have bought few pieces, still, I would like to have one CheongSam.

Gish. But I have no time to hunt for that.
INEEDTOGOFORGYMVERYFREQUENTLYTHESEFEWDAYS.
Because I have photoshoot during the weekend and they requested me to lose some weight.


Oh gawd man I am so pitiful! ='((




I was reading something online and I accidentally found another paradise.

Koh Phangan, Thailand.

I am so wanna getaway to so many places around the world. 

Still, Kah-Ching is the issue and also annual leaves.

I have limited amount of annual leaves!!! =(

Actually, I have normal amount of annual leaves but it is just that, they are already well located for my upcoming vacation plans. 

Teehee! =D

Feel like getting married? 

This is the thrill. =)

***********************




Maldives would be the next destination before marriage!
Because I don't wanna go there for honeymoon or the proposal or whatsoever.


Wait a minute!

I will get married meh?!
LOL!



No thrill/heartbeat for that at the moment! =D
Even.... for the next 3-4 years! Yeehaw!




I only wanna work, have fun, travel, earn more kah-ching, eat, and everything else not related to commitments and more commitments! =)





Yay!




Have a pleasant weekend ahead. Longer weekend. But too bad Mr. E is gonna be so occupied for the weekend. ME? I'm gonna shake legs at home!





:: regards ::




RAeeeeyyy

The Motherhood

Everything has been going on well between me and my family and with Mr. E.
But there is now one particular stuff that I'm afraid of the most.

All these wouldn't have happened if we only have to deal amongst us, the couple.
But sadly, marriage is never about two persons loving much about one another and getting married.
It is basically about 2 persons who want to get married with the whole family that they are having. FML.


I have always wanted to give my mum the very best that I have. Just so you know, she's the only person that loves me so much when everybody else hates me.
Well. It might not be only her.
I still have the rest of the families.
The dad.
The Bro.
The other mums.
I have always tried to work things out so that there could be a fair balance between the mum and Mr. E. But this time around, whereby I understand the positive intentions that Mr. E is having. But I dont really understand why is the mum making such a big fuss over these kind of little things.


Perhaps, the tradition matters.
The CNY matters.
Perhaps.
But, I don't really understand.
Is there a need to be that firm over such little things?


Damn. Seriously, there is a need to have a common ground between me and Mr. E. Else, we would be suffering from a lot more of pressures. Stress. Tension. And everything bad. So bad I could be suffocated to death.


I wish. I wish to be far away from all these nonsense that could have been avoided. There must be a balance between all these.


Communication is what that matters the most.
But sometimes our egoism is so strong that we take things for granted thinking that our another half SHOULD/MUST/WILL do it according to our wish.
The most important rule to having a trouble free relationship, from having all the frictions, communication and never make assumptions.


We are in a relationship. But we are not each other. We should always be educated of what is going on in our head to clear off the obstacles ahead us.
It is never ashamed to let each others know about your feeling about some particular things.
That's where the value of true relationship comes from.
The respect. The individual. The love...



No matter what that happens, your own mum is irreplaceable.
Be it your mum.
My mum.
His mum.
Her mum.
It's our own mums.




I truly wish that all these unhappy choices/moments would leave together with the lunar 2013.
Embracing a brighter better and happier lunar 2014 that is coming ahead of us.



Best regards,



Raaaeeeyy

The Hay

Many things have been going on in my head recently..
The Good, The Bad, The Neutral, and Everything Else.


Something serious has been longing in my head for quite some time.
I was thinking, will I be ready to stop fighting when I am allowed to?


If I could afford to live a wonderful luxurious life without having to work, would I still work?
What would I do then?


This is a serious question okay!
I am not joking or dreaming, I know for sure, that this particular day would come.
Someday, somehow, but not now =)


So, I have got myself some answers.
I would definitely stop working.
And...
Shop with my family.
Eat with my family.
Take up some classes, be it languages or music instruments.
Continue with stitching so that my loved ones would feel the warmth =)
Most importantly, I would like to take up some designing classes, I would like to pursue in interior designing and then... creating some small unique stuffs.
So cute that I can't live without it =D


I could foresee myself being so busy and occupied okay! Teehee!!





****************



Just when I am feeling I have gain some fighting spirit to "pia" in work.
Here comes the CNY!
Yoodddoooo!! A pail of cold water being poured!


Everytime I enter UPM, I feel... special.
Just so you know, Mr. E studies there.
I have always imagined that I could attend his big day in that particular place.
I am always amazed with the area of the Uni, after UM.
But now, I am no longer mesmerized with UM.
I am like, I will be there averagely one day weekly okay!


The hallucination of cheering in UPM would not be coming true.
No worries Mr. E, it's alright. Cheers okay! =D




*****************



Speaking of which, it is already the New Year!
So how was your achievement in 2013?
New year resolution?
Well, you need to have some resolutions each year that you are keen to achieve in.
Your hard work, your effort? Will be seen even though you have not speak/yell about it.
Mine?


1. Secret
2. Secret
3. Secret
4. Travel to another Country for the year! *How lucky that Mr. E got to visit 2 different countries last year, UK and Australia. Damn!*
5. I want to get myself a memorable present on my Birthday! Because I didn't get myself one precious one in 2013.



Yay! Cheers for CNY!
Cheers for holidays! =D


Wish everyone in the pink of health and everything nice and smooth throughout the year of the horsey!
Good luck!





:: regards::



RAe



PS: Katy Perry - In another life, I would be your girl

The Eve

New love song of the year!
So sweeeeetttt!! ccwwhhheeettt....!!!
Another song that will make you feel like you wanna get married.


There's always some songs that will make you feel like marrying.
Want to be in the white dress so badly!!!!






This would be it.
Hahahaha!!!
You know what?
I used to imagine myself and everyone I love suit up for my big day and this song is being played.


Well yeah, silly me!


Now?

It's not that I have the wish to be in the white dress no more. =)


There's so many other things in life that you need to catch up with besides all the little white thing! =D




******************************



It's the night of Christmas again.
The time of the year, the season of greetings!!!



I have always have a wish,
I wish to kiss with my beloved under the mistletoe,
in the snow.



Awwww.... Isn't it sweet? =P




Speaking about sweetness, isn't it sweet to have someone who would loves you unconditionally?
There is always someone who will be there for me.
Someone knowing that he himself is not good enough, willing to work extra hard to give me all that I wish for.
Someone knowing that he has different levels of education and background, and yet, willing to be there for me no matter what.
Why would such loving people exists?


Too bad I prefer not to hurt people so kind...
I'll be cursed.... =((



Would someone I love heartily do all these for me....?




Dreams remain dreams.




:: regards ::


RAe





PS: Merry Merry Christmas people. Have an awesome one =)

The Will

If someone could have sing this song to me,
even though it is not meant for me..
Even just the feel of it, I am willing to do anything! Just Anything!!


Too bad I couldn't get a high quality version in the YouTube.
So sorry for that.


Looking back at time.
My aunt showed me the will my uncle did few years back.
The feeling was...


It's so sweet and deary..
What could make someone willingly make a will, just to give you all that he/she once had?
Where does the generosity comes from?

Will I have that "one day"?


Hmmmm...


It really caught me thinking..
Isn't that something really meaningful and touched that money couldn't buy?



I once told someone that I would say yes to a proposal if one particular song was played during the proposal.
I once said that, but for now, I can't even remember what song was that?
Hmmm. It really got me thinking.
All that I could remember is that, it's a female singer.
What a joke Rachel Ngiam. You can't even remember what you said before.
Or so to say, what you've once promised! LOL!




**********************

Seeing this, YEAP! I went for the Extreme Challenge in Bukit Cahaya, Shah Alam with 2 rascals! 

These 2 were not in my life for the past 22 years. 

Only this year that they exist. 

I experienced the flying fox. 

The tubings.

The IDoNotKnowWhatAreTheNamesOfTheChallenges.

Okay. 

I am happily saying that, 

I have been through there. 

Done that! =D 

對一個人說「再見」，

或是絕決的說出「不想再見面了」這樣的話，

都不是困難的事。

然而，在心中與一個人真正告別，

卻是很不容易的。

告別之後，悲傷也變得平靜了，

可以繼續走下去。

告別，是必要的。

Seeing this. 

Ah hah! You're right! 

I've got myself a haircut! 

The oh-so-long hair have been with me ever since secondary school.

I have no guts to chop them off! 

Of course, the friend used to not allowing me to cut my hair. 

He likes them to be long. 

So eventually I have to follow his "advice".

Bah~ Not to blame him la. 

I didn't have the guts also.

But seriously. 

I do personally think that they are not short enough? 

Whatcha think? ;)

***********************

I found my love back for JJ Lin.

I have the urge to see his concert.

Hmmmm.

I have been planted my love him for in my deep heart core when I was with the friend.

He doesn't like him.

He thinks that he's sissy with the voice that he's having.

Oh com'on! 

That's the voice I love! 

That's the voice that made him unique. 

I was so dumb that I thought heeding his "likes" would be better for the relationship and eventually, 

I stopped listening to his songs.

Until recently, whereby JJ will be here for a concert. 

I start YouTubing his songs. 

Looking at the dusty albums of his at the corner of the shelf, it teared me apart. 

I hid all that I wanted and all that I loved for the friend whom does not worth a cent. 

What a joke. 

**************************

For what I am today, 

I love my family and friends that believed me with the ridiculous story that started ever since 19th November 2012. 

Time flies and Christmas in on the way! 

It's gonna be the second Christmas without the friend. 

I'm actually looking forward to it! 

Er Jie existed last year and made my Christmas filled with so much of love. 

She gave me a lovely watch that I could never asked for.

It's irreplaceable. 

Well as for this year, Mr. E is with me.

He's a belated Christmas pressie from 2012 and early Christmas pressie in 2013.

Can't wait for the family gathering! 

Can't wait for the laughter and fun! 

Another year older, but a lot more wiser. 

LOL - Lots of Love! hugs and kisses! XOXO

:: regards ::

RAE

PS: I want pressie!! I want to experience the feel of unwrapping!!! =O

The Gorilla

I have some special feeling towards this song.
I don't really understand why it would get into my senses so deeply, but, it's truly amazing! =)


Listening to Bruno Mars in the night is really making me excited and non-sleepy.
So highly motivated to move and shake around.


Can you imagine me grooving in front of my lappy while chatting with DellynnLim the Kuen in the Messenger? Oh... What an enjoyable life that I'm having.
I seriously enjoy this kind of moments.
Feels like back in school, no worries or anything, just some intimacy with the bed and only the bed, while eyes on the screen, be it the lappy or the TV, with a very comfortable temperature plus a soft and tendered comforter.

WHAT A LIFE! 

 *******************


I am a pretty silly person, a little hilarious I would say.

Hanky panky once in a while.

Just another ordinary girl. 

Living in my own world.

With the thoughts that fairy tales do exist.

*****************

And then this man came into my life.

Us. 

In the sweater I bought for both of us.

Inexpensive. 

Yet.

Comfort.

 

This cute little young man.

Descent. 

Instead of Handsome I would say.

He came into my life. 

He pushed himself to the limit just to fulfill my dream. 

He put himself into a little bit of an issue just to make me a happy girl. 

No doubt that I do not agree with men not being wise enough when it comes to girls.

Seriously, it's sweet and touching. 

But it's a heartache knowing that you are in such a situation. 

Well, put yourself in my shoes perhaps? 

Can you feel my heartache? 

Still, I thank this man for crushing into my life. 

Thank you that you willing to go through what you have gone through just to make it works with me. 

Where the rhyme goes, 

You would just know, that this is the right one. 

You just know!

Mr. E, sorry that I put you in the roller coaster ride once in a while.
Well, not really once in a while perhaps, it's most of the time.
But I know, you do understand what is the only thing I wished that you would do for me...
I know you do aware of it and trying to make it real.

Thank you for wanting to make it real for me...


And ...


RS? Seriously?

It's a little too paced up, but I love the sound of it.
Ms. Rachel Shiaw? HAHAHAHA.




Alrighty, it's getting late.
Time to have real intimacy with the bed and pillow and comforter. =)




2 more nights to seeing you Mr. E. =D




:: regards ::



Rae



PS: Baby, your help would truly be appreciated... I can assure you that it would be worthy in the end... We both want the same outcome, right? I don't mean to give you pressure, but that's the only solution to the pursuit of happiness, the dreams becoming reality... XOXO