The Gorilla

I have some special feeling towards this song.
I don't really understand why it would get into my senses so deeply, but, it's truly amazing! =)


Listening to Bruno Mars in the night is really making me excited and non-sleepy.
So highly motivated to move and shake around.


Can you imagine me grooving in front of my lappy while chatting with DellynnLim the Kuen in the Messenger? Oh... What an enjoyable life that I'm having.
I seriously enjoy this kind of moments.
Feels like back in school, no worries or anything, just some intimacy with the bed and only the bed, while eyes on the screen, be it the lappy or the TV, with a very comfortable temperature plus a soft and tendered comforter.

WHAT A LIFE! 

 *******************


I am a pretty silly person, a little hilarious I would say.

Hanky panky once in a while.

Just another ordinary girl. 

Living in my own world.

With the thoughts that fairy tales do exist.

*****************

And then this man came into my life.

Us. 

In the sweater I bought for both of us.

Inexpensive. 

Yet.

Comfort.

 

This cute little young man.

Descent. 

Instead of Handsome I would say.

He came into my life. 

He pushed himself to the limit just to fulfill my dream. 

He put himself into a little bit of an issue just to make me a happy girl. 

No doubt that I do not agree with men not being wise enough when it comes to girls.

Seriously, it's sweet and touching. 

But it's a heartache knowing that you are in such a situation. 

Well, put yourself in my shoes perhaps? 

Can you feel my heartache? 

Still, I thank this man for crushing into my life. 

Thank you that you willing to go through what you have gone through just to make it works with me. 

Where the rhyme goes, 

You would just know, that this is the right one. 

You just know!

Mr. E, sorry that I put you in the roller coaster ride once in a while.
Well, not really once in a while perhaps, it's most of the time.
But I know, you do understand what is the only thing I wished that you would do for me...
I know you do aware of it and trying to make it real.

Thank you for wanting to make it real for me...


And ...


RS? Seriously?

It's a little too paced up, but I love the sound of it.
Ms. Rachel Shiaw? HAHAHAHA.




Alrighty, it's getting late.
Time to have real intimacy with the bed and pillow and comforter. =)




2 more nights to seeing you Mr. E. =D




:: regards ::



Rae



PS: Baby, your help would truly be appreciated... I can assure you that it would be worthy in the end... We both want the same outcome, right? I don't mean to give you pressure, but that's the only solution to the pursuit of happiness, the dreams becoming reality... XOXO

The Loneliness

What an amazing and lovely song by Sammi Cheng and Andy Hui.
It's very beautiful that they are back together.



Hola people!
Here I am in Ipoh staying alone in the room for the night.
First time, staying alone in a hotel.
Some new experience! =D


Talking about experiences.
I used to blame the ex for letting me go through this this that that.
I would tell myself, ITS YOU WHO LET ME HAVING TO GO THROUGH ALL THESE, the hard times I would say.

But as for today, I THANK HIM for everything that he has done to me.
Making me a tougher, braver and better person I would say.
Thanks to his girlfriend, I told myself that I would not be a third party.
I would not a someone who sabotages somebody's relationship.
I am not living for men, I am living for myself and my family, as well as the people who love me for who I am.
I would not want to be someone whom the people around me would not be proud of.
Guys, PLEASE GET A LIFE. WE GIRLS DON'T LIVE FOR YOU.



*************************


It's a free world out there.
If you're fast enough, you would be able to get it.
Please come earlier tomorrow for those who're slow =)


It's initiatives and self-motivation which matter the most in this realistic world.
It doesn't mean that you have the privilege to slow down yourself when you're living in a slow paced environment.
A friend I know is pretty motivating actually.
He has been living in Adelaide, the slow and steady, dreaded small town I would say, for years.
He went for classes even though he has been earning quite an amount.



It's a fair world.
You are what you eat, you are what you learned.
Hmmm, speaking of which, I am actually looking for some short courses or classes that I could join.
What might it be?
Any suggestions?




What I want in my life now is, PLAY!


Is that even possible?
The question now is: HOW

I wanna see this with my own eyes next year!! ;]

:: regards ::

Rae

PS: I have faith! =D

The Words

Came across this amazing song which has,

The rhythm rights.
The lyrics right.
The feeling's right.
The mood being right as well.

How could someone brings up the song so well with only simple lyrics?
That's genius!



Well, there are just too many things seem to be holding me back as to fulfilling my dreams.

Dreams remain dreams? 

Just too concerned with certain things that everything was being drawn backwards.



Knocking on heaven's door...






:: regards ::



RAe



PS: I just want to live a life with "less" worries and just focusing on "pursuing" happiness. Would that be even possible?

The Past

Something that I have found recently really got me into thinking.


Question is:

Do you keep the "things" that your X have given to you?



Honestly speaking, I threw away most of the X's stuffs.
But, there are still certain things that I am keeping and no doubt, it reminded me some of the moments we have spent together.


He is always a fan for razer, a fan for apple.
Thanks to him, I am a girl with a so called "boyish" behaviour most people would say cause people tend to draw my attention when I see them having razer thingy.

I started to be fancy for the mouse, the lanyard, the cap, and things like that.
I never used to be so proud of having them, until I met him.


For now, I am still using the White Razer mouse that he gave to me.
It's old, but, I think I understand what does the mouse meant to him.
A thought flashing through me is that, should I give it back to him?
Should I?


To be honest, I never really gave me a "present" which I can keep as for remembrance.
I only have the things and the books we bought together during our traveling moments, but, those things, they don't really have much impact to me.
I don't have feelings for them cause its not what he has given to me.
All that I could remember is that, the roses, the lilies that he has given to me.
They were definitely lovely.
I could bet that many outsiders were "red-eyed" towards me.


I have made him a few cardboards when we first getting together.
He was just starting his days in Kampar, which is the main reason why I made them for him, so that there could be something that let him know that, he's not alone, never alone.
As what I can remember, there were two of them.
For now, i really wonder whether they still keep them...


Does it mean something if he still keeps it with him?
So as for me, does it mean something if I still keep some of the things that my X'es "made" for me?
Vern Yeong did made me a very thoughtful christmas card.
He has been a very creative and wonderful person in art.
I always fancy his drawings.
So beautiful!
Still remember very well that he was so mad when I won over him in a art drawing competition. It was fun.
Splendid..


Glad that I am still friend with Vern Yeong.
But as for EuGene, is it a waste that we never talk again?
I met Ah Ma previously.
I did think that Ah Ma would be my Ah Ma previously.
His conversation with ah Ma is always funny, entertaining.



So now, does it mean something when we still keep what the X gave to us?
Would it lead to a problem in your current relationship?
Is it Okay to keep them would you?
If you know that it would lead to an issue, would you still keep them with you?




It really keeps me pondering....




:: regards ::



RAe



PS: I am feeling... I need a getaway!

The Fringe

The edge of life.
I truly understand that people have to go through death in life.


Things have seem to change,
But one thing that is still the same...
In my heart you still remain.


**************



Things have not been running smooth for the month of October.
My uncle has been unwell.
Despite the fact that I am not truly close with him.
But still, we are under one roof, the impact is there..

Pity him that he has been checking in and out from hospitals for the month.
His strong will that keeps him fighting throughout the days made me really wanna shed some tears.
The fact that seeing him in pain but being unable to ease the pain for him hurts the most.
Yes, I would be really glad and honored to rectify everything that have went wrong in him.


The worst scene is the time where I arrive at the wad and when people are closing the curtains around him.
It teared me apart.
So badly that I would just break down and cry.
I knew that things wouldn't be good since then.
And so it goes.... he stopped breathing..


And for now, for that his funeral has passed.
Everything has been settled and came to a halt.
I was so effin tired then I just fainted on my bed when I got home.
But still, I got disturbed by Mr. E's loudspeaker.


Well, he was very tired.
He spent as much time with the family, or probably, more time helping them out.
I wonder where did his energy comes from?


***************************


Booyah! I'm now a confirmed employee in the company.
Of course, adding more kah ching to my bank account.
It feels good being confirmed in 4 months!
Being a freshie! I feel kinda satisfied with myself compared to those non-freshies!
Yes! Having more allowance = shorten my time to save some kah ching for more traveling and exploration!
Yes, I wish to visit "this number" of countries by the age of 25!!


Yeah, I do plan to do some investment, but not now..
I still wanna play!

Looking forward to going to Singapore in 2 days?
Hmmm. I wonder.


No monday blue for tomorrow! =D
Glad for being in the company for that they have replacement holidays for public holidays falling on weekend! Adding more time for me to be able to spend some time lazying at home.

We have been visiting the hospitals a little too much for the past month!
Life is too short to keep mourning.
Have fun. Enjoy peace. Love yourself. Love people.
Love life.



*************************



Uncle Ambrocio, glad to know that you're in a better place now.

You are no longer in pain.
You are very healthy now.
You will definitely be missed.
Don't worry about ah mai and Jayboy kor kor.


We love you, for sure.





With this, we bid you good bye, eternally....




:: regards ::



RAe




PS: Love makes us stronger.


PSS: Thank you Mr. E for your patience and love showered.

The Uncertainties

One problem with me is that, I always have a mindset.
I always pre-set my mind into fear before "something" bad really happen.
Some people says that I worry for the unexpected, which is "unnecessary".
Where else some people claim it to be "expecting the unexpected".


For me is that, its good to expect. But it's bad to worry for the unexpected.
But, honestly, I can't help but to be worried.
Is there a right for me not to worry?
Seriously, I do not think I have the "honor" to not to worry.


Once again, I feel afraid with the upcoming roads ahead.
I used to have things planned.
Very well planned.

I wanna do this by
20
25
30
32
I wanna go here go there by this this this and that.
I wanna have this by this this this and that.

I was very proud with my achievements at the age of 18, 21 and then now, 23.


Seriously, that wasn't my problem.
But it seemed to be that I am being drown by those problems.
It feels scary and devastating to be starting from negative instead of zero.


I feel guilty that I could not act as if nothing is happening cause seriously, that's what that is happening.
And seriously, I want to have a certain, a stable, an affirmative road ahead.
It feels like living in the darkness.
Seriously.









This is definitely what I am feeling now.
I wish that I have the ability to settle it all at one go!
Seriously!
I don't wanna be living in fear.
The feeling sucks.



How long can I bear with it more?
It'll always be difficult and unwilling to let go.
But, can I really handle it for another year or so?
Even if I give it a year, would it be settled?
I do not wish it to be a never ending story... It hurts..



就让离开躺下句点....?




:: regards ::




rAe




PS: Just go away!

The Life

This song has always been mesmerizing, but I didn't know that it could be "that" mesmerizing till I heard it live.
I practically teared when I heard Eason Chen started singing this particular song.
It was so touching! I was being touched so badly!
Yes, the misses that you'll get when you're apart or yada yada something like that.
Honestly, I had no idea how it got straight into my heart, the soul probably.
Well, IT JUST DID.

And so, I got this tickets from a friend. 

Yeah. The most expensive seats.

Good vision and stuff. 

I know, I'm very lucky indeed.

To best honest, I do think that I am very fortunate to have these beautiful people existing in my life. 

And of course, this applies to the firm that I'm currently working at.

They are beautiful, very nice people. 

Yours truly. 

FYI, I am never a super fan for him. 

I hear his songs of course. 

But I never play his songs myself. 

I heard from the Utarians and WenYao, I also heard from the ex.

It appeared to me that he was a super fan for him. 

There are a few songs that he particularly loves them for. 

And now, Mr. E is another super fan for Eason Chen.

Oh gawd.

But you know what? 

The feeling of hearing all the amazing songs from Eason with Mr. E, IT WAS MESMERIZING. =)

Us getting "crazy".

The bad news about the concert was, IT RAINED.

The good news? 

IT RAINED. 

Hahahah! 

Does it rhymes? Hmmm.

Well, I enjoyed much in the rain. 

I hope, WE enjoyed =)

Thankfully, I had these! 

Teehee! =D

We saw him clearly from our seats. 

The seats was awesome. 

At the price of zero,

We are enjoying the benefit of Hero.

Yeah! =P

Thank you very much to the Madam who done this for me, for us. 

I love you.

I love us. 

Sounds familiar? 

Heck yeah. 

******************************

I personally think this is cute! 

Don't you think so? 

I have been pretty much occupied. 

Very glad that I'm making full use of the time I have. 

No longer slacking much, doing nothing.

Of course, I still slack, but when I do, I slack for a pretty good reason! =)

I'm back on track with English Series! 

A lot more to catch up with! 

Hell yeah! YeeHaw! =D

:: Regards :::

RAE

PS : I am glad that I actually attended the concert. Somemore please! =))

PSS : Me want vacations! =|